Hour Record Update

 

Mick Storey, the man (probably) responsible for the round that finally tipped former National

Champion and Record breaker Ian Cammish over the edge and in to his own little world of

make-believe has confirmed to the World that a mystery funder has announced his intention to

launch Cammish back into the international limelight by funding his proposed attack on Robert

Gilmour’s world hour record.

 

"The realisation that someone is ready and willing to back the attempt with hard cash has really

hit Ian hard. Since he took early retirement four years or so ago, he’s let himself go a bit.  Where

he used to regularly knock out 52 minute ‘25’s in training he’s slipped to 53s and 54s.  I can’t

honestly say I can remember the last time he finished off a whole bottle of Vodka before

Eastenders either. Personally I think he knows he’s bitten off more than he can chew this time

but he’s surprised us in the past so who’s to say he can’t pull himself together and get back on

(the) track”.

 

Cammish is said to have become a bit of a recluse in more recent years, a throw-back believed

to have originated as a result of the many years of self-inflicted mental and physical purgatory he

must have experienced riding against the clock … not to mention the 32 years pen-pushing in

the MoD..

 

We were however able to track him down on his allotment, and after joining him to prick out a

few plants in his potting shed we retired to join his friends in a few games of dominoes, one of

Cammish’s current passions, in the Duncombe Arms, Waresley (the metropolis of nightlife). 

 

The topic of conversation soon turned to the hour record.

 

“We were all pissed” said Cammish.  “I think some scum-bag pressman was ear-wigging and

before we knew it I was on the bloody (t)rack and it looks like I’ll have to waive my magic wand

now that some toss-pot with more money than sense wants to try to turn the clock back.  Yes

I’ll go for it. If nothing else and the attempt looks likely to fall apart once I’m underway, I’ll follow

in the tracks of the majority of my 12 hour rides and pack.  At least the bar bill will be covered

this time.

 

“To be fair, I’ve kept riding my bike.  My counsellor and all the doctors and psychologists I’ve

seen keep telling me it’s good for me.  Of course I’ll try to wangle a trip to the Pyrenees out of

this.  Ideal preparation for the record would be a few days having the shit kicked out of me. 

The ONLY time I ever won the National 12 was after 2 weeks .hogging loads of hard miles in the

Pyrenees. So I know what works for me.  Ideally, I’d like to find a dozen or so ‘old boys’ who’d

like to do it too.  I’m sure I’d be able to hoodwink a few of them in to parting with a few extra quid

(to fund my own trip) in return for granting them the pleasure of kicking my ass”.

 

Although funding for the actual attempt has been set aside, Cammish is still waiting to hear

back from those he considers essential to get the show on the road … an organiser and

someone well versed in the art of riding fast on a track.  He may, however, have pissed on his

chips over the years in his own selfish single-minded quest for what he believed would lead to

time trialling immortality as the lack of interest displayed by those he has sought help and

advice from clearly suggests he has upset many others along the way.   Unless bridges can

be built, or someone just takes pity on the old boy, Cammish’s 60th birthday party proposals

at Manchester / Derby / Lea Valley / Welwyn / Wickstead Park just aren’t going to happen

 

Would-be ‘wannabee’s beware ... you reap what you sow.   

 

The interview ended abruptly as soon as Cammish must have realised it was his round. He

zipped up his carpet slippers, donned his flat cap and said he was off for a pee. We never saw

him again.