Cammish's Christmas Countdown ... the top 10 most wanted stocking fillers.
No 1 ... Pepto Bismol ... the most wanted stocking filler for Christmas 2016
Don't let the cute pink colour lull you into a false sense of security. This stuff tastes vile ... BUT ... if you managed to polish off your Smirnoff, 24 cans of Guinness, 360 gm slab of Cadburys Dairy Milk as well as your Christmas Dinner with all the trimmings you're going to need some of this.
Highly recommended. (It really is very good stuff).
No 2 .... Vodka Smirnoff (It had to be in there somewhere didn't it?)
No day would be quite the same without a daily tipple.
When I used to work at the MoD they had a 'drink awareness day' and me being the highly tuned athlete that I am ;-) stunned the group by asking how long a 1 litre bottle should last without going over the daily Government guidelines for safe drinking. ... I was getting through at least a bottle a week at the time (and still winning races most weekends). Apparently ... if you can make it last 10 days you're ok! That's over 30 bottles a year :-)
Isn't it strange how you don't realise how much you drink until you have to take the empties to the bottle bank and wonder where they all came from ... so quickly too?
Highly recommended despite having just bought two bottles from Tescos at £16 a bottle only to come home to see them advertising them on the TV at £15 a time!
No 3 ... Citec Time Trial Wheels (because you're worth it)
A bit expensive admittedly, but at the end of the day you get what you pay for and, let's face it, you're worth it aren't you?
Front? Citec 8000CX 88 mm deep carbon rim with alloy braking surface. Only 10 spokes and weighing just 690 gms.
Rear? 8000 Ultra disc. Lenticular shaped, carbon sided, alloy braking surface weighing just 885 gms.
Prices? HERE ;-)
No 4 ... Guinness (only because it's good for you) ;-)
Guinness Draught 8 X 440ml Cans. Tescos currently doing 3 for £20. That's ... urm ... 24 cans for £20. Good deal or what?
No 5 ... PDQ tt frame set package.
I've got one and if I were still racing I would be using it without a doubt.
Since I'm not (racing) ... I'm not (using it for racing) BUT I AM using it week in week out up and down the F2. It's fast!
Don't take MY word for it ... ask Santa HERE
No 6 ... Cadburys Dairy Milk
Unless you're fortunate enough to have won one of this year's major Tours or maybe even an Olympic medal or two, it wouldn't be unreasonable for the organisers of this years Sports Personality Of The Year Awards evening to have quickly skipped over your name when it came to considering the short-listed 5-star celebreties earmarked for the win.
Don't ever let it be said that you don't deserve some sort of recognition for your efforts made over the past 12 months though. Whether it's doing the school-run ... the dishes ... the ironing ... or even having to begrudgingly go out on your bike in all types of weather to train and race to get the necessary results so that your friends and family are able to proudly say ... they know you ... 'I wish I could be as fit as he thinks he is' ... 'can you get me some cigarrettes when you pass the Spar?' ... etc ... you deserve a treat.
So, even if no-one else slips a bar in your Christmas stocking, award yourself the C.D.M. 'A glass and a half of full cream milk in every half pound'
The 360 gm slab straight from the fridge is highly recommended and should see you through to lunchtime on Boxing Day ... providing you can keep it out of sight of the rest of the family.
No 7 ... PDQ trispoke.
Without doubt the fastest and lightest EVER tt wheel in Waresley (if not the World).
Superb handling characteristics, extremely light and well made.
Rumour has it, Santa has asked Mrs Santa for one.
Point Santa in THIS DIRECTION
No 8 ... Team America - World Police DVD
Popular Broadway actor Gary Johnston is recruited by the elite counter-terrorism organization Team America: World Police. As the world begins to crumble around him, he must battle with terrorists, celebrities and falling in love.
Not quite sure why Johnston hasn't yet graced the red carpet at the Academy Awards but after his performance in this epic I'm pretty sure he'll be on the Oscar short-list soon! Very funny (IMO) and great for an hour and a half's worth of father / son bonding.
No 9 ... PDQ tt bars
Mega adjustable, super light, superbly strong.
Fine tune your position with a set of these.
Dugast Pista Latex Silk Tubular Tyre
No 10 ... Something for the weekend Sir?
For the younger generation ... when I was a lad I used to wonder why, when I went for a haircut, the barber always used to ask the older guys sitting next to me if they'd 'like something for the weekend Sir?' It was several years before I realised it was a euphemistic reference used by barbers when offering condoms to their clientèle. How things have changed eh?
These have an awful lot in common though ... not just the use of Latex in their construction and the colour but at only 145 gms a piece you're highly unlikely to get anything more than a balmy summer evening's ride out of them (if that).
A bit pricey at £170 or so a pair but a good indication as to how much your other half thinks of you if she slips some in your Christmas stocking.
10 / 10 for bling / speed / an indication as to your financial status. 1 / 10 for reliability on anything other than super smoothly surfaced courses and events over, say, 10 miles.